Who Will Take the Strap Off Cena?

Last night’s “Vengeance: Night of Champions” was, in my remarks, one of the better Pay-Per-Views the WWE has put on in a while. But I noticed something last night… my focus was not on Cena during the 5-man Challenge Match last night. I was just looking forward to the match, until I saw him walk down the red carpet in Houston. All I could think was… “There he goes again, woth his spinner belt.” I felt an empty feeling, and found myself not booing him. I even cheered when that pop was made with Cena FU’ing Lashley through the ECW announce table, which was a good pop, I’ll admit. But now that I’m back to my normal “I hate Cena” state, I will name 5 possible candidates to “Take the Strap Off Cena”.

(This article is not a gimmick. I’m going back to my journalistic style, the way I do it best.)

5. Randy Orton: “Another Headlock Randy?” has obviously been on his best behavior since that disastrous European Tour, and he’s back in the title picture. But since last night’s 5-man was a huge clusterf**k which hardly proved anything, Randy should finish his revived “Legend Killer” storyline and challenge Cena before anyone else gets there. Since a Lashley/Cena feud is already brewing, I would love to see Orton take the huge heel role that Edge left wide open since his move to SmackDown!, and who better than Randy? (That’s why this is a backwards countdown…)

4. King Booker: The king is back like Hova, but he’s not throwing up the Roc… King Booker pointed out in his brief 90-second promo, which was cut very well, that he and the word champion relate. But what he fails to understand is that WCW disintegrated when it was purchased, leaving him in the fray. The writers need to show some nuts and keep him in the title picture. Booker has the skills, juist put him there…

3. Triple H: In light of the ‘Who Killed Vince?” storyline, Triple H will come back by SummerSlam, where the jackholes at WWE meet their “Jackass”. Leave Paul out of that, and give us another great fued between the current star and the legend. Now, don’t clone the Cena/Michaels fued to the bone, give Triple H the “Cerebral Assassin” motive again, bring something fresh. The Game hasn’t had gold in a long while now, and he needs another push in the Land of Raw.

2. Bobby Lashley: The last thing most of you want to see is a Bobby Lashley title run, but give him a chance. Face vs. Face is a rarity now in the WWE, although neither Lashley nor Cena are a Hulk Hogan at all. Lashley as WWE champ is something that can be a rollercoaster ride through the Fall season, and who doesn’t like rollercoaster rides (quivers with fear)?

1. Ken Kennedy: Because he has it coming, and he’s Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Kennedyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
(Kennedyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!)

Dedicated to Podcast 100,

MDP

LeBlue’s Pro Wrestling’s LAWL Moment of the Week #003

You guys know that I am not the biggest Cena hater, nor am I his biggest fan. I find him to be a good worker, not the best wrestler per se, but good enough.

As you all know, YouTube can be great sometimes, or NOT. YouTube tends to be filled with marks, the oblivious and the such. I have no problem with that because the marks at YouTube tend to give me a good chuckle on a good day.

Anyways, enough filler talk, onto the YouTubeAge. YouTubeAge, that needs to be a word, actually, it already is: YouTubeAge

Anyways, here be the YouTubeAge:

And lyrics, so you can rap along:
Yo Cena, your time is up
You can’t see me, you phony chump
You ain’t a franchise, you’s a poser punk
You can’t see me, your shit gets sunk

You started off a dump jock who couldn’t make the NFL
So you stepped inside a ring and re-invented yourself
Every match you fell off, the fans didn’t acknowledge
Now you’re claiming Word Life but thugs don’t go to college
You gets no love or any gold with the leather and
Now I jack your beat and make it hot like the weather man
You couldn’t fix shit if you had McGuyver theories
And you only got over cuz you joined Team Angle at Survivor Series
You’re just a straight up joke
Battle rapping fake fans with some rhymes you pre-wrote
Actually you were handed those quotes
By some 40 something white folks
Up in the offices
They were sick of all your losses
So they figured out a way to get you on the front page
But you were boston baked bitch, it’s like those cowards who jumped cage
I could say Vanilla Ice but that’s too damn typical
Plus it insults Rob Van Winkle
Bitch!

Yo Cena, your time is up
You can’t see me, you phony chump
You ain’t a Franchise, you’s a poser punk
You can’t see me, your shit gets sunk

You just immitate, you duplicate, copy and mimick
You and Vince watched 8-Mile and came up with your gimmick
You think you’re innovative? You just a fake ass clown
And that F-U ain’t nothin but a lame-ass firemans take down
But some how it got you the gold around your waist
And then convenientaly, your CD came out the next day
With the title on the cover and I’m like what the fuck is this?
And the belt’s got a spinner and it insults this whole fucking business
And now toys get destroyed
You just a marketing ploy
You ain’t no real B boy
Cuz real rappers do it big dick style, you’re null and void
Little weiner John Cena needs to stop injecting steroids
And I don’t care if you’re bigger than me son
Cuz the UWA’s got my bad but I still go 1 to 1
I fucking live this cuz I write this
And you’re like Word Life, this is basic wiggiritis
Bitch!

Yo Cena, your time is up
You can’t see me, you phony chump
You ain’t a Franchise, you’s a poser punk
You can’t see me, your shit gets sunk

Yo Cena, your time is up
You can’t see me, you phony chump
You ain’t a Franchise, you’s a poser punk
You can’t see me, your shit gets sunk (more)

And THAT is my weekly LOL moment. Discuss!